The Adventure of us: February 2012

February 14, 2012

Yesterday Ben and I stopped at Costco to get our tires rotated and pick up a few things… yes I know, incredibly exciting. As we finished shopping and were waiting for the tires we sat down at a table in the food court and began to play a game of cards. Sitting in a place surrounded by people, it is always difficult not to get distracted watching them and noticing what they have purchased in the cart as they exit the store. Sometimes Ben and I play a game where we look in the carts and ask each other, “if you could pick one thing from their cart which would you pick?!” Maybe a bit immature and awkward as the passerby’s wonder why we are obsessively staring at their cart with our eyes searching on their purchased items… but we enjoy itJ

This particular day we noticed MANY men carrying out bouquets of Roses and other beautiful flowers. Sitting there for a few moments in silence as we played, Ben finally piped up and said, “tell me honestly, do you want flowers for Valentine’s Day? I don’t want you to be disappointed if you don’t get any.” The reason he asked this was because in previous conversations I had told him that I think Valentine’s day gifts are kind of pointless. I would honestly much rather spend a quality night with him, cooking dinner and hanging out so that we can save the money and put it towards something that we actually want to buy or maybe do someday in the future. Besides, chocolates will just make us gain weight, flowers will die and teddy bears will soon collect dust as we search our tiny apartment for a new place to shove them.

So after giving him a grin and thinking of how cute he looked as he apprehensively asked the question, I answered him with the same answer we had talked about before. “I can’t tell you that I won’t EVER want flowers, but this year I would MUCH rather just spend time with you and do something together. I don’t want to play the silly game where I tell you not to get them for me but secretly in my head I’m hoping you will surprise me with a beautiful bouquet, that is not fair to you and you cannot read my mind! I will be honest and tell you this time that I don’t want them. Down the road I’m sure I will love the surprise of a beautiful bouquet of flowers sitting on the counter when I get home and come to find that it is simply because you wanted to and were thinking of me. But that it exactly it, I want them to be a gift given because you love me and want to bless me, not simply because it is Valentine’s day and that is the thing men are “supposed to do”. Valentine’s day seems to be a business scam for all of the teddy bear, chocolate and flower industries to benefit off of. After all, what is Valentine’s day supposed to be about? I’m honestly not sure how it all started, maybe I should take the time to look it up, but it does seem like the meaning has gotten lost in all the cultural hype and the fact that it is all about gift giving. Sadly, that seems to be the case with most of the holidays today; the true meaning is often lost in all the stress, preparation and gifts that go along with it.

I guess my assumption and from what I understand is that Valentine’s day is supposed to be about love. It is maybe meant to be a day where in the business that life brings, you are reminded of the importance of showing your family, friends and loved ones that they are truly loved by you and you appreciate them. The opposite has come along with that and made MANY women feel hopeless and unloved on this particular day. Whether they are in a relationship and that person does not “come through” in the way they had hoped… or maybe not even at all; or whether they have no one to share the day with and that alone makes them often feel pathetic and wish the day would never have come. (I’m not a complete and total skeptic, there are people who enjoy the day and share love with one another in a beautiful way!) I just believe that the meaning has been twisted, distorted and the enemy has used it to discourage and make women feel unloved, while also making men feel the pressure of something simply INCREDIBLE each and every year in order to not disappoint their loved ones. Shouldn’t love be shown every day?! Shouldn’t Valentine’s day not be the totality of the love we have for the people around us but simply a reminder to let those people know they are important to you?! Ben and I were talking later on that day and he said, “So what happens when your mom, sisters or friends ask you what I got you for Valentine’s Day?... Valentine’s Day is the day when women judge how great a husband or boyfriend is by what they got for their significant other.” Ha, I had never thought of it that way, but I suppose there is part truth to it! It is some sort of competition of sorts as we women ask one another what was given to us from our Valentine.

Might I suggest what I believe Valentine’s day should be about?! Well I suppose I can since is it my blog. But you do not have to agree or even continue to read it if you so choose. I believe that scripture paints a picture clearly of what Valentine’s Day is about. Assuming that it is supposed to represent love, we can look in light of scripture and see that the day should then represent God, since God is love. “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love”. -1 John 4:8. So what does that mean? Good question. I think that suggests it is not simply a day for couples dating, engaged or married. I think it means the day is a day to remind us to love all of those around us. Since God is love, and God is in us, we should celebrate his love by sharing it with everyone we come into contact with! So for all of you out there who feel hopeless and worthless because you didn’t have a Valentine this year, you did… God is the ultimate Valentine and he expresses His deep and passionate love to us each and every day. For those of you who maybe did not receive the “ultimate gift” from your mate, remember that maybe that isn’t what is important, and that truly has no reflection of how much they truly love you! For those of you who were extremely loved and blessed on this special day, take the time to love and bless those around you right back. We are created to love, so let’s give that love out and not only on the designated “day of love”. Why not let Valentine’s day be a yearly reminder that we need to continue to act in love towards everyone around us. We need to continually be celebrating the love God has for us and share it with those around us. Let’s let him love through us to the people that may not always feel so loved.

So, you might be wondering what Ben and I ended up doing for Valentine’s day and what he gave to me. Well, for starters he gave me the best gift ever, his love. He not only gave it to me today, but he shows it to me daily in the ways that he serves me, encourages and builds me up; everything he says and does for me is done out of the love he has for me. The best part is that his love ultimately comes from the fact that he seeks and loves the Lord, and the Lord pours His love through Ben onto me… what a beautiful picture of a marriage that God has so perfectly designed. I love the fact that God designed marriages to teach and display his love for each and every one of His children in a real and tangible way here on earth. (Though the love here on earth will never be fully expressed in it’s totality because it is a fallen world. So no, Ben does not always love me perfectly and I fail him many times as well; But we can catch a glimpse of God’s love here on earth through one another and let it spark an excitement in us for the perfect love we will experience for eternity in heaven!)

Sorry, sidetracked… So on Valentines morning we woke up early and headed for the church that we recently began attending. (They are doing a beautiful thing and are an excellent example of being the hands and feet of Christ, meeting the real needs in their community. Every Monday night they pack crates full of food and on Tuesday morning from 9-12 they open up their church and the people who are in need can come and get a crate full of food for their families. They register each person, find out about their family, their needs and keep track of all the data each and every week. They also have a clothes closet where the families can come once a month and pick out clothes for free for themselves and their families. Each person can come back weekly for the food, the church buys it and some is given by donation. What an incredible ministry! They saw a need and weekly they have volunteers come to be the hands and feet of Christ to serve this need for these precious people). Ben and I have been fortunate enough to find the church and have had the opportunity to volunteer and help out for the past two weeks.

Once we finished at around noon we headed over to the movies and saw “The Vow”. It was kind of a sad movie throughout and not the happy type of movie I was in the mood for, but we did enjoy it and it made me grateful that I am not in that situation! Then we walked around outside and just took in the GEORGOUS 75 degree day! Gotta love Texas weather in February, what change from the Minnesota winters!

We headed home and the decision had already been made that Ben was going to cook dinner for me and it was a surprise. So he told me to go take a nap or do something I wanted while he made dinner. Well he slaved over in the kitchen for 2 hours preparing me a wonderful meal. I read my book and dosed off and on in the bed as I could smell the delicious spices coming from the other side of the wall. He told me it was ready and that I should wash up and come out. I came out to beautifully cooked salmon, roasted asparagus, a pan full of roasted potatoes, carrots and red peppers, and a plate of chocolate covered strawberries! MMMMmmm I was hungry! He pointed to my plate and had me pick it up so he could serve me the dinner and I had the pleasure of receiving the “You are special plate” which had written on it I love you. Man I was proud of him, and seeing the joy he had in preparing it and serving it amazed me even more! He joyfully put on my favorite kind of music as he cooked, and UNLIKE me, he cooked graciously without stress and worry and it came out beautifully!

We then went outside since it was a beautiful night and he had set up a little candlelight dinner at the picnic table outside our apartment in front of the lake. It was perfect. He had showed me his love by wanting to bless me. He gave me the night off from cooking, wanted me to relax as he surprised me with a beautiful dinner and precious time spent with him. I think spending the time with him was the best part of it all… but boy did I feel love, cherished, treasured and special!